Excitement Drained

I was so excited (and still am) about my book. But real life decided to give me a wake up call. Kids with pneumonia, moving onto a lovely gastro bug and several hospital visits with my youngest writing in agony.

I am looking at this as learning. I am logging my feelings of each day. No novel wiritng happening but the emotions are being logged. THe helplessness and fear of watching children as they gasp for breath. The tears that come unbidden to the eyes as you try and soothe their cries of agony as they writhe. The utter exhaustion of it all. The delight when they get into trouble as you know they are healing and feeling better to be able to think of mischief even as you scold them, the relief is enormous. This past year has been difficult but not a waste.

Waiting at the hospital nursing a child gave me time to watch people. How they cope with pain. Some males getting impatient and swearing, moving restlessly and complaining. Others focussed on thin air only a leg jiggling giving away their discomfort. Others sleeping and others making jokes about it.

Watching mothers try and console their sick babies stroking hair off their face whispering dsoft words to them. Holding them close. Workers harried and tired rubbing their faces , poking their pc screen scowling.

I couldn’t write I was one of those mothers whispering to their child wishing I could take the pain away. Give it to me, let me suffer it, just leave my baby alone.

I wanted to promote my book but children came first. As they should. Will I give up writing? No I can’t. I will write and I will learn and I will try to promote. But my family is my first priority.

Now I wish to thank all who purchased my book. It has really really made my day to see I have sold.

And later tonight I will sneak to my room pull out my Alf (Alphasmart) and I will write for an hour. It may not be much but it is a restart.


~ by Bron on November 22, 2007.

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