What motivates you?

I recently joined a new yahoo group Motivated Writers, and after a cursory glance didn’t do much else. I finally had a chance to read the posts a little more thoroughly and I know I am hooked. Well and truly.
It isn’t so much a chat group as a group to get to what motivates you and some of the questions asked a doozies.
I have done well and come at the start of a new cycle.
So far i have answered what I need from life and what I want from life. And sometimes you can turn those wants in life to needs. for example I want to show my daughters that they can do anything they desire in life. that they don’t have to do traditional things to be successful.
But is that really a want or a need? I can change it to a need. I need to suceed with my writing to be able to set the example to my daughters. no point in talking the talk if i can’t walk the walk.
The second question is am I motivated by hope or fear? This one stopped me dead but as i though about it, the fear motivates me more. I have to list what I am afraid of and where it stems from and what will happen if I am successful.
I recognise that when I bcome a successful author i will be in the limelight a little more and my history of depression and running away from home at a young age will come to light. there now i have just done it given away my secrets. Not so bad really. I feel though, as i watch others coming into the limelight that “they” will twist it and turn it and try and make it something it wasn’t.
That isn’t a problem. Really. I ran away from home. I didn’t do drugs, I didn’t drink, I didn’t even sleep around.
I am afraid of not being able to write and what I do write won’t be acceptable. well I have my first attempt at writing coming out this month so obviously that isn’t true either. I may need lots of practice BUT I can write and at this stage I have ideas tucked away so I don’t dry up too quickly.

My biggest motivation to write and be successful at it instead of hiding them away like I used to is simply I do not want to go back to the 9 to 5 grind. I hated it. I hated it more then words can describe and even now the idea of going back to traditional employment can reduce me to a mess. My fear of having to go back to that way of life is what will keep me writing and trying to get published. Will drive me to be successful. Not just the hope and desire but that fear burning deep in my belly.

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~ by Bron on October 4, 2007.

One Response to “What motivates you?”

  1. I’m so glad you commented on my blog today because when I updated my blog a few weeks ago I accidently deleted all of my favorite blog addresses. Yours was one of the few I hadn’t yet recovered so I’m really glad you came over today!!

    I’m also excited that you joined up with 70 days of sweat. I did NaNo the last two years and succeeded last year in completing the required 50,000 words. I don’t know if I could do NaNo this year though because with my son requiring visits to Children’s Hospital regularly now, not to mention keeping up with three other kids, I don’t think I could complete 50,000 in 30 days.

    Anyway, Have a wonderful day!

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