Walking around a shopping centre today with my daughter I received a comment. My daughter who is 6 was very excited and jiggling around and doing a little dance on the spot. Her hips were swinging side to side with anticipation of what was going on.
She accidentally bumped into a woman who almost trod on her and stepped awkwardly almost falling over. This woman spun on her and said “If you weren’t so busy wiggling your bottom LIKE THAT it would never have happened”
The tone implied that the wiggling of her bottom was disgusting in some manner.
The life drained out of my daughter.
Now under normal circumstances I would have made a comment to the woman who hurt my daughter so.
Normally I would have defended her right to move around, maybe asked her to tone it down a little so she didn’t get in anyone’s way.
But I didn’t say anything,
Now why didn’t I say anything?
Because it was my mother, and although she doesn’t control me quite like she used to I still feel awkward and useless around her.
And now not only am I mad at myself for letting her get away with it. The comment she made will ring in my ears every time my sweet little girl does this dance.
We all have one I am sure, one person in our lives that we allow to have power over us although we shouldn’t. Why do we let this happen? Why do we do it to ourselves?
I live over 1200km away from her and even then sometimes that is too close.
I love you mum but get off my back and don’t hurt my kids because you won’t like the end result.

Anyone brave enough to stand with me while I say it?


~ by Bron on February 18, 2007.

One Response to “Why?”

  1. Amen Sister! My mom used to have too much control over me at times too. She was more discreet about it, using guilt to get me to do what she wanted. I told her one day not too long ago that my guilt trip passport was full up and that I wasn’t going to let her make me feel guilty anymore.

    Since then she’s made a real effort not to say or do things that will bring on the guilt.

    Obviously your mother doesn’t remember what it was like to be 6- or maybe she never was- but her harshness with your daughter- your daughter being the operative phrase there- was unkind and you have every right to stand up to her.

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