Epiphany

Flickr - Barabeke

Well my 50kin30days was a flop. I got to 17000 words and realised I was 1/2 way through my story. Disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to make the 50k I stopped. Just didn’t want to bother. I felt a failure. How I meant to be a “real” author if I can’t do something as basic as write 50,000 words a relativel short novel?

So I tossed and turned and tried to forget it while feeling guilty the whole time. Last night a dear friend of mine pointed out that authors come in all different book shapes and sizes and snap out of it because I have been published.

She’s right you know. I have been published as an ebook and I have 3 or 4 books that I scrapped because they weren’t long enough to become a print book. But does it matter? No, the stories themselves are actually quite sound sure they need editing but that is part and parcel of learning this game.

And guess what as I look at each one I have written they are getting a little longer. I will get to my 50,000 words in one book but it will take me time to learn how. How to grow the story and I will do that one word at a time. You can’t grow if you don’t try.

So today I will go back to my book and I will write. I will write the remainder of the book. I will right the remainder of a were wolf book and I may just decided to go ahead and submit them. I can only get knocked back.

What’s worse then getting knocked back? Not trying in the first place when you want to. So 50kin30days let’s see what I can end up at in different books.

Words await

You really have to love drugs.  I mean even though I have to go in for tests due to breathing problems the words are no longer wandering over the page.  The are staying put until I deside to do something with them.

Today I wrote and wrote well for me almost 2500.  My total for 50k in 30 days is almost 13000 and I am really pretty happy with it.  t will nedd fleshing out and editing but these two characters are interesting to say the least.  They kinda like to do it where they may get caught.

He’s also cranky with her as she received roses and they weren’t from him.  His fault really you just can’t go off and not speak to a gal for over a week before she gets tired of waiting and decides to spread her wings a little.

Tsk tsk he really should learn to as before jumping to conclusions.

It is approachingmy scary part where I usually find out that I am slmost 1/2 way through a story and haven’t reached anywhere near the wor count I need to.  i think they have some thins to work through that may keep them going but I also came to the conclusion as longa s I am writing that’s the whole point isn’t it?

Just to write and write crap if you have to because you can edit crap where you can’t edit nothing.

descriptions may need to be improved and sentences dealt with,  but for now 50,000 is wheat i have in mind.  thankyou for all the well wishes I am on the mend and once we can figure out what causes these breathing hassles life will be less interrupted.

So let’s see Tarin is sleeping and Damon is watching over her.  what will he do?

Caterpillers

Well not really, but not much writing got done the last few days because of the flu.  i would be looking at the screen ad the words would turn into caterpillers and crawl around.  At least today I can do 15 minutes at a time beore this happens.

Oh by the way they are in an elevator.

he he he

Editing

I don’t edit as I type generally as a rule.  But also generally as a rule I don’t show “snippets” of my work.

Oh man I will have to edit this savagely.  I seen to have turned into “and” queen.  It will have to wait though I want to get  the manuscript finished so for all of those cringing about the “and”s and possibly the “was”es (hehe not much better there hey) they will get cleaned up in the edits.

Plan to catch up fully today.  The story is flowing nicely at present but we’ll see how it continues once I hit my stumbling block of 20,000 words.

Day 3 - Snippet

Having fun with the new book.  have no idea where it’s headed but it looks like it’s going to be fun.  here’s a snippet from the first chapter.  now be gentle I haven’t edited this yet so it’s rough.

 

“Bloody ridiculous!” Tarin muttered the word savagely.  It wasn’t enough and she kicked the door that had closed behind her, locking her out of her apartment.

As she nursed her toe she cursed loudly at herself, her door and the situation she found herself in.  Really how badly could her day start off?  She had an interview in, she checked her watch, an hour and now locked out and wouldn’t be able to get in to leave in time.

“Stupid cat.” She leaned against the apartment door and slid down to the floor. 

“Meow.” A ginger cat appeared at her side and rubbed his head on her leg.

“Nope don’t talk to me Lancelot.” She went to push him away but instead found her fingers rubbing his soft fur.  He closed his eyes and purred in ecstasy.  She started banging her head against the door.  She closed her eyes trying to remember if her window as opened and if it would be worth her while to make a dash outside to see if she could reach it from a fire escape.

Only trouble was she was wearing a robe with no shoes and she was pretty sure that going outside would garner a lot of attention.  Knowing her luck someone with a camera would snap a picture of her and it would be in the paper and all over the internet.  She scrunched her nose not something she wanted with her aspiration of becoming a designer.  Happy snaps like that had a tendency to come back and haunt a person.

“Can I help you at all.” The deep voice made her freeze.

She mentally took stock of how she must appear and groaned silently.  She peered out of one eye.  A pair of legs clad in a suit met her eyes a very expensive suit.  She raised her gaze up and realising how silly she must look opened both eyes.

Just her luck he was gorgeous.  Drop dead gorgeous.  She scrambled to her feet and plastered a smile on her face.  “That would be wonderful.  I seem to have locked myself out of my apartment.”

His eyebrow quirked and he smiled slightly.  Oh my he is lovely she swallowed nervously and smoothed her hands along her sides.

“Really?  I would never have guessed with the cursing and thumping.”

She grimaced “Was I that bad?”

He appeared to consider for a moment.  “Yes.”

She could feel heat making its way up from her chest to her face.  She was embarrassed but he was making it worse the way he was watching her.  She raised her chin.

“Are you able to help me?”

 He smiled again and this time a dimple appeared on his cheek.  Her toes curled and her stomach somersaulted in response.  Flustered she dropped her gaze and immediately regretted where her gaze had landed.  His hands in his pockets pulled them tight across his crotch doing nothing to hide his masculinity.  She bit her lip to stop herself licking her lips.  Jerking her head she thought she caught a glimpse of him grinning but it was gone before she could be sure.

“I think I can help.” he said.

“Oh thank God for that.  My name is Tarin, Tarin Price.”  She held her hand out.  He looked for a moment and grasped her hand in his.  Electricity danced up her arm making all the hairs on her arm stand up

“Damon.  Damon Thursdale” His thumb brushed the back of her hand and Tarin became acutely aware of how little she really was wearing.  As if reading her thoughts his eyes roamed down and his brown eyes darkened.  Her hand came up to her chest where his gaze seemed to be riveted and felt skin instead of robe.  She looked down and gasped pulling her hand free from his and grabbing the sides of the robe closed covering her exposed bosom.  It hadn’t totally uncovered her breasts but near enough.  She was grateful that the thick material helped disguise how her nipples jutted out.

Unsure what to do she mumbled “How about opening this door?” 

Damon’s lips quirked again as if he knew the reason why she had spoken.  He pulled a key out of his pocket, slotted it into her door and opened the door.

Tarin stared open mouthed at him.  “Why have you got a key to my apartment?” she was pleased to hear that her voice sounded relatively normal

“The old duck that lived here before you was getting a bit forgetful and so she gave me a key to keep safe in case she got in trouble.  I just hadn’t gotten round to giving it to the new owner… you.”

‘You knew my aunt Tilly?”

“yeah she was a lovely old lady.  It was a sad day when she died.” He paused “If you were her niece why haven’t I seen you here before?  I didn’t see anyone visit her”

Voice low from pent up grief Tarin didn’t know what to tell this stranger it wasn’t really any of his business but she was compelled to tell him the truth “I didn’t know she was alive when she was alive, her and mum had a falling out before I was born.  I only found out about her when I inherited everything from her.”

She shook her head trying to clear the melancholy feelings.  What was done in the past she couldn’t change but she could make sure the future was different.  She smiled up at Damon.  “Thanks for everything, I am pretty sure you saved me from a heap of embarrassment.  What can I do to thank you properly?”

She noticed a change in his eyes and stepped back into her apartment.  He stepped toward her. 

“How about a kiss?”

“Wha…?” she never got to finish the word his mouth claimed hers and from the way her blood pounded through her veins she knew she was in big trouble.  The kiss wasn’t gentle, it wasn’t asking, the kiss demanded that she respond.  His lips slanted across hers his tongue seeking entrance, without hesitation she opened and let him in.  Her hands grabbed onto his jacket whether to pull him closer or to hold herself up she couldn’t be sure but he put his arms around her and lifted her.  She automatically wrapped her legs around his waist and gasped into his mouth when the material of his suit brushed against her core sending tingles to her womb.  She could feel herself moistening against him and she thought he must too for he dragged his mouth away from hers and kissed her neck and shoulders dipping her back so her robe fell open and he could take her nipple in his mouth.

She could hear mewling noises and thought Lancelot must be calling, she opened her eyes to see if he were being hurt but she couldn’t see him and the noise seemed to be getting louder as he suckled on her nipple harder.  It took a moment for her to realize it was coming from her own mouth.  A call of need.  She also remembered they were just inside her door and the door was wide open.  In fact she was pretty certain that her back was pressing against the door.  She struggled briefly trying to tell him but he didn’t speak, his only response was to hold her buttocks tighter pressing him to her rubbing her against his cock trying to escape from his trousers.

She felt his hand move between their bodies and then she could feel his flesh against hers and without thought she pressed herself onto him taking him deep inside filling the ache he had created within her.  His hips moved and drove himself deeper into her, again and again as he continued to move his mouth from one breast to the other.  She felt boneless, barely able to hold his jacket, grateful for the door holding her up.  Her muscles tightened around him and she couldn’t hold herself back and shuddering calling out to him, even as she did so she could feel him pushing harder and shuddering as well.

She felt vulnerable, pinned by him against the door.  Her robe totally open exposing her to him while he was fully dressed except his undone fly.  Slowly he withdrew, lowering her to the ground but holding her still breathing deeply against her hair.  For a moment he stood, he then carefully reached between them and pulled her robe closed as well as doing his fly back up.

He stepped back, looked down at himself and glanced at her wryly.  “I am going to have to go get changed.  As delightful as you are I don’t think a wet patch on my suit would be looked upon favourably at work.”

 

And the race is on.

Ok I know I’m late but I’ve been travelling.  Each year we make a pilgrimage down to a city called Dubbo.  This area is where I lived for 9 years with my partner.  It is also a place I hated with a passion.  I don’t know why but I never made friends there and this was before the internet was really as widespread.

With other contributing factors we decided to leave and make our life in Queensland but K left many friends and a very close group so every year when the group has it’s get together we head down and help out.  Sunday I spent all day helping out.  We also decided to travel the 10 hours back home once the event was finished.  the girls had come with us for the first time and so we thought it may be better that they sleep most of the way home and have Monday to recover.

So definitely no writing, I can’t be in a vehicle and type unfortunately.  And besides K would be hurt if I ignored him like that.

Monday was a write off as well.  Tired (didn’t get home till after 1am), trying to play catch up with chores that seem to develop even with no one in the house and rainy weather that kept the girls in the house (cranky and tired as well) meant no chance for writing again until last night when I sat at Alph and type 431 words before falling asleep.  Today I have no kids at home and hope to do a few sprints to put me back on track.

That is if I don’t fall asleep.

So tell me

What happens when a beautiful porn star is rejected by the man she is lusting over?

Well I know what happens now.  Thank goodness.  The scene had stopped me as I knew what was going to happen and what the reaction would be but how would she cope?  A beautiful desirable woman used to having whom she wants when she wants?

Hmmmm.

I have to go out and some lovely research very soon.  I have written part of the book only to realise I have never stepped foot in a particular location and I think it needs to be done.  I want to see it.  I can understand how the travel bug catches us writers.  You want to feel what you are writing and although not necessary when you make up a town it is a good idea to make sure that you have written something that can be done at the location you have chosen.

My word count is creeping up a little although I don’t know whether enough to warrant a change on my counter due to the amount of editing I have done to this story it hasn’t moved much even if I have written way more then the counter suggests.

ahh the joys.

I really do think I these two represent my feisty strong willed couple.

How are these two ever going to work it out?

50k in 30days

That’s right you read it.  I am joining in our aussie romance groups June 50000 word attempt.  The funny thing is that the day it starts I won’t be writing.  I will be counting money.  The worst thing it ISN’T my money enough said of that.

I am wondering if I should start a brand new story for this or whether I should work on the stories that are floating.  The temptation is to finish an existing story, get it out and get it done but then the idea of having a lovely fresh new thing is just as tempting.

Ugh.

I have been writing.  In fact my heroine Sasha is doing her darnedest to get the hero (he has a name but I don’t like it) into her bed.

Actually scrap that I just had an idea for his name.  Hmmm Ok I will try it out for a while.

These guys really really want each other.  They are hot and heavy and ready.  But they aren’t allowed to.  That is part of the story line he has certain beliefs and he won’t back down.

Oh the pangs of a new relationship.

I had a dream

And it was a good dream.  It was a dream that I will be published next year.  So I will take it for fact.  The trouble is I gotta get some writing done.  Not fun.  Not when moving my arms led to major pain issues.  A visit to the physio and I appear to be on the mend.  I have to visit again though and there is still pain.  I have trouble holding the arm in position even for 15 minutes.  So nothing has been done.

I think I need to sit for 5 minute lots to get going again anything has to be better then nothing.  Wish me luck.

Men

Really who needs them?  Aside from the obvious uses.  Wouldn’t it be handy if we could just fold them up and pop them in a drawer until we need them next?

So what bought this on?

Last night he was settled watching the footy and I thought wonderful.  I walked off to the bedroom and got Alph out and settled into my bed with the ipod in my ears blocking out his swearing.

Typing away I stopped trying to think of a word and the word is still elusive.  It essentially means you are wanting something because you can’t have it.  Once you get it you lose interest.  I know what I mean anyway and the word will simmer for a while and pop out eventually.

Back to the tale.  So here I am thinking, when i realise that lights are flicking on and off.  I look up to see K flying into the bedroom.  Grabs the remote and turns the t.v on.  This in itself wouldn’t be so bad aside from the fact K is extremely jealous of my writing.  He in fact sabotages any effort to write when he is awake and I am writing.  So although his footy is on he pokes, prods and generally molests me  (in a most loving way) until I give up and turn the alpha off.  Then he is happy and leaves me alone.

Last night I fell asleep early for me but I was annoyed at the fact that I had wanted to write and then I lost the opportunity.  And no I wasn’t getting out of my nice warm bed to write in a cold lounge, lazy probably but I was settled where I was and being disturbed breaks the urge to write and it was COLD for me anyway.

I just can’t understand.  When I decide I’ll write at night when he goes to sleep early he decided to stay awake (I don’t tell him) when I decide to write in the mornings early he gets up with me.  I have trouble writing through the day due to other commitments and it is driving me crazy.

Can I please have a man that I can fold up in my drawer till I require him.